Parents, Don’t Take Things Personally!

How often have you just felt so exasperated with your child that you didn’t know what to do? How many times have you found yourself taking your frustration with others out on your child?

It happens.

It probably happens more often than you realize. That heavy sigh, the rolled eyes, the pinched lips. Those are all signs of frustration that your child often takes personally. This can negatively affect your child’s self-esteem.

So, how can you deal with this?

Don’t take anything personally.

That’s the second agreement of Don Miguel Ruiz’s classic, “The Four Agreements.”

“Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.”

Even when a situation seems so personal…

Even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds. Taking things personally makes you easy prey for these predators, the black magicians. They can hook you easily with one little opinion and feed you whatever poison they want, and because you take it personally, you eat it up.

So, take a deep breath…

Count to 10, 20, 30, or more, and remember that it has nothing to do with you. You can keep your peace, you can keep love in your heart and in your home, and you can build your child up rather than tear your child down.

Take a look back at the First Agreement and the list of positive things you can say to your child to help build them up.